


Unto thy soul with hoops of steel

by queerly_it_is



Series: J2Powers!verse [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Movie Fusion, Angst, Awkwardness, Childhood Trauma, Dirty Talk, Frottage, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Superpowers, Telekinesis, Telepathy, Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-07
Updated: 2012-06-07
Packaged: 2017-11-07 04:37:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/426981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerly_it_is/pseuds/queerly_it_is
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared and Jensen each deal with their families, Jared meets Jensen’s parents, and something surprising happens that makes them wonder if they’re really so alone, after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unto thy soul with hoops of steel

There are plenty of things that Jared likes - loves, even - about Jensen.

 

He loves his sense of humour; he loves how protective and possessive he is, he loves the way his voice dips into a deeper, southern-twanged register when he’s tired (or drunk, or horny). He loves the zombie-like way he moves toward the coffeemaker in the mornings, he loves that he’s definitively _the_ most stunningly _gorgeous_ person Jared has _ever_ met, but doesn’t let it change him. He loves that he has an amazing singing voice; but he’s so shy about it he only sings in the shower, or softly into Jared’s hair late at night, when he doesn’t think Jared can hear him. He loves it when Jensen wears his glasses, even though he insists he looks like a dork, or when Jared comes by his dorm-room and finds him dancing to cheesy pop-music with his headphones on.

 

For all the multitudes of likes and loves Jared can list about his boyfriend though, one of his _most_ favourite things is how _filthy_ Jensen’s thoughts can get.

 

Like right now, for instance.

 

_You like that, babe?_

Jared thinks he garbles out some kinda noise, but with the way every molecule in his body is focused on how Jensen’s obscene, _beautiful_ mouth is wrapped slick and tight around his cock, it’s hard to say.

 

His boyfriend’s head is bobbing between his thighs, hot suction pulling at him, slick little slurping sounds that he _knows_ make Jared crazy; every dirty thought he can summon-up aimed at Jared like a laser.

 

_Know how much you love my mouth. C_ _’_ _mon Jay, fuck me, fuck my face._

That time he _does_ make a noise, though it’s mostly covered by the moan Jensen makes when Jared’s hips shift up and his dick slides all the way into the back of Jensen’s throat, squeezing flutter of muscle around the head as Jensen swallows, moan vibrating right up his spine to the base of his skull.

 

_Fuck_ , you can add his blowjob skills to that list.

 

_You gonna come for me, Jay? Gonna fill my throat up? Want it so bad, wanna drink you down._

It shouldn’t be possible for Jensen’s voice to get rougher in his _head_ , but it does. Jared comes with fireworks behind his eyes and lightening in his veins; every pulse of his dick in Jensen’s mouth feels like pleasure and pain and like the world is ending.

 

When his brain clicks back on an interminable amount of time later, Jensen’s tongue is in his mouth and he’s making gasping, desperate noises as he rubs against Jared’s thigh.

 

_Wanna come all over you. Wanna mark you up, Jay._

He hums into Jensen’s mouth - assent or just residual arousal at the words inside his mind - sucks on his tongue best he can with aftershocks still making him weak and twitchy.

 

He feels the groan Jensen looses in his mouth just before the splashes of wet heat against his upper thigh, grinds his leg up into Jensen’s cock with whatever measly strength he can summon, it earns him another moan and a weak pulse of come so he must be doing something Jensen likes.

 

His boyfriend finally collapses onto his side next to him, hand going straight into Jared’s sweat-slicked and sex-mussed hair - it always seems to end up there right after sex. Or right before, really. Or _during_ , now that he’s thinking about it - as he presses soft kisses down his jaw.

 

_God, Jay. So fucking hot._

He feels that now-familiar tingle of pride that he can reduce Jensen’s _thoughts_ to something base and exhausted, just from a blowjob and some frottage. They haven’t gone all the way yet; even though they’ve been trading handjobs and blowjobs and hour-long make-out sessions (all to the tune of Jensen and his dirty dirty brain) ever since their mutual ‘so I’m maybe kind of a really lame superhero’ conversation nearly two months ago.

 

Jensen knows that Jared was more-or-less a virgin (yes, that’s possible, shut up) before this; his social awkwardness combined with the stress of hearing any potential partner’s thoughts rendering him somewhat averse to the whole dating thing.

 

Jensen says he and Jared ended up together precisely _because_ he has a filthy mind. Jared says it’s because whatever bizzaro mutation they share makes it impossible for Jared to block out Jensen’s thoughts. Those kinds of debates usually just result in more sex, so a winner has yet to be declared.

 

“So, what was I saying?” Finally speaking aloud again now; his throat raw and words gravely. Jared thinks he only starts talking verbally now because he likes the way his roughened, post-cocksucking voice makes Jared shiver all over. Jensen has never denied it.

 

“Saying?” Not a massively intelligent response, but hey; his brains just shot out his dick, give him a break. Jensen snorts a laugh into the muscle of his shoulder, and then presses an open-mouthed kiss there.

 

“Y’know, before you gave me that look that says you _want_ sex but won’t actually _ask_ me for it.” Teasing lilt to his words, soft smile on his face, and Jared can feel the blush already.

 

_You can have anything, Jay, you know that._

 

“Think I was talkin’ ‘bout Christmas.” He says consideringly; like he wasn’t just doing that thing where they bypass the sappy awkwardness by Jensen just whispering into Jared’s brain (Jared doesn’t know how other couples manage without it, honestly).

 

“Oh. Right. Have you, um. Have you decided what. What you’re gonna do?” He hates that he hasn’t gotten over this stuttering-shyness thing yet, even when they’re alone. Doesn‘t like the reminder that he‘s so much meeker than Jensen, that Jensen could do better.

 

_Stop worrying, I promise I ain_ _’_ _t going anywhere._

Right and _Jared_ _’_ _s_ the mind-reader.

 

“Well, I know my folks’d love to meet you. In fact if I spend one more call home blabbing about you my momma’ll ship you to Dallas in a crate herself.” Jared snorts at that, knows it’s partly true; Jensen told his parents about them over a month ago (leaving out the part about how they’d bonded over their superhuman powers); whereas Jared remains firmly entrenched in the closet, far as his family’s concerned.

 

 He isn’t _afraid_ of telling them he’s gay, really; he knows first-hand they’ve both had thoughts about the possibility at one time or another, but he finds it hard enough to talk to people regardless of the topic, much less when it’s about him or anything related to sex. He’s also not sure he’d be able to _stop_ spilling his secrets once he started, nightmarish visions of blurting everything out to his parents _‘_ _Hi mom and dad, I_ _’_ _m gay and dating a guy called Jensen. Oh and I_ _’_ _m also a telepath, by the way._ _’_ flashing through his head whenever he thinks of going home.

 

“You could always just say you’re visiting a friend, come and see us anyway. San Antonio isn’t worlds away from Richardson y’know.” Jared feels the hot-bright flash of _love_ for this guy (not for the first time, and _no_ he hasn’t said it yet) deep behind his breastbone at the completely sincere suggestion. He doubts he’ll be able to stay away from Jensen for three whole weeks regardless; he doesn’t like how quiet it is in his own head when they’re apart for the occasional _weekend_ , much less almost a month.

 

“I don’t like lying to them.” He non-answers, and then immediately laughs at himself. “I mean. About us. Not the, y’know.” He gestures at his head in a way they’ve both come to associate with talking about Jared’s ability. _That_ he thinks he could probably lie about forever, doesn’t matter if he could prove it; they’d still look at him like we was totally _cracked_ for the rest of his life, same look he’d seen glimpses of during his childhood when he hadn’t known any better, and started talking about the voices no-one else could hear.

 

“You don’t have to lie, babe. Just don’t tell them _everything_. That’s the system I’ve been using for _years_ now.” Jared knows what he means; referring to things without explaining them, conversations of half-truths and blank spaces. The goody-goody part of him (that sounds suspiciously like his mom) says that a lie of omission is still a lie, but the thought of what the _truth_ could do…

 

“How long ‘till you leave?” He asks, hating how much he sounds like a lonely little boy.

 

“Not for nearly a week, yet.” Jen doesn’t sound thrilled about it either, and Jared knows he isn’t the only one not looking forward to the separation. They’ve both gotten ridiculously attached to each other in such a relatively short time; mutual lifetimes of isolation (albeit to different degrees) and feeling like outsiders pushing them together faster than might’ve happened otherwise.

 

“I’ll book a flight around the same time.” He says decisively. If they have to be apart, he’s gonna make sure they’re as close as they can be while they are (that totally made sense in his head, ok?).

 

“’Kay. _God_ I _hate_ flying.” Jen says, as though he’s just remembered that about himself.

 

“Really? Mr Engineer? Mr Fascinated-By-All-Things-Mechanical? _You_ don’t like airplanes?” Jared sometimes forgets that despite the intensity of their relationship, they’ve only known each other for about four months now, and there are still _so_ many things about Jensen he doesn’t know. That unknown-ness irritates him as much as the possibility of discovery excites him.

 

“It’s not the planes, really. It’s.” He lets out a sigh as he tries to find the words, slight flush on his cheeks saying he’s a little embarrassed. Luckily for him his boyfriend is a telepath, and he doesn’t really have to _say_ anything.

 

_When I first realised that I could make metal do stuff, back when I was a kid and I didn_ _’_ _t know how_ _’_ _ta control any of it; I was terrified of flying_ _‘_ _cos I thought I_ _’_ _d sneeze and make the plane crash or something._

 

Jared’s heart clenches at that, the thought of Jensen as a scared little kid; all alone with this weird burden he never asked for, thinking he could kill hundreds of people - his family - with one momentary loss of control.

 

_I_ _’_ _d spend the whole flight with my fingers gripping the armrests; toes all clenched inside my sneakers, trying so_ hard _not to think_ anything _about the plane or anything on it, just in case. By the time we landed I_ _’_ _d be exhausted; my momma was always baffled_ _‘_ _cos I was scared but I was never noisy or twitchy like a lotta people get on planes, y_ _’_ _know?_

 

Jared had his own childhood pains, of course; migraines whenever he walked through crowds, no ability to block the _noise_ of other people’s casual thoughts in his head, but Jensen’s power is so much _stronger_ -more _dangerous_ -than his in so many ways. Jared’s telepathy only directly affects _him_ , but Jensen can do pretty much _anything_ as long as there’s the smallest amount of metal to work with. The thought of a child having to deal with that all by himself…

 

“You’ve _got_ it under control now, though. You’d _never_ affect a plane like that without meaning to. Hell you’d _prevent_ a crash before you caused one, Jen.” Hoping the fervour in his words, the iron-clad _belief_ he hasin the _goodness_ of this man, will somehow carry over.

 

“Yeah I know, I just. Whenever I get on the plane, it’s like I’m that little boy again, y’know?” He _sounds_ like a little boy at that, small and so alone. It makes Jared turn on his side a little further, wrap his arms around Jensen and draw him in. For all that Jensen is the more dominant one in their relationship, Jared sometimes relishes that he’s bigger, broader than his boyfriend; as if the added physical comfort he can offer compensates for his emotional awkwardness, somehow.

 

“What if we get tickets on the same flight?” He asks into Jensen’s hair, speaking in time with the idea as it forms in his head. “I could be there, then. Give you something to hold onto other than the armrests. Then we could both go home and meet up sometime later in the break?” His hands are running over the broad, muscled span of Jensen’s bare back, trying to project as much reassurance as possible.

 

_Really?_

 

_So_ much insecurity and hope in the two little syllables that drift through his head; as though Jensen couldn’t bear to ask for the confirmation out loud. It only makes Jared grip him tighter, pulls his head back a little to press a kiss to his temple.

 

“Really.” He says, one of the most unwavering and confident words he’s ever uttered, despite the rough emotion in his voice.

 

“Yeah I’d.” Slightly wet clear of his throat that they both pretend doesn’t happen. “I’d like that. We could even join the mile-high club.” Weak attempt at brevity, as if Jen’s gonna go from white-knuckling his way through the whole flight to groping in the bathroom. Plus, an orgasm actually _might_ bring down the plane, knowing the way things usually are with the two of them.

 

Jared just kisses along his cheek ‘till he reaches his mouth, tries to put as much of what he feels into the soft press of lips as he knows how.

 

Jensen thinks he might be able to _project_ thoughts as well as receive them; nature of telepathy suggesting two-way communication, but Jared has been shutting himself off mentally for _years_ , and the thought of pushing what was done to him unknowingly as a child onto someone else intentionally isn’t a pleasant one, no matter how much Jensen insists he’s a willing guinea pig. But it’s times like this when he wishes he knew how to share everything he can’t bring himself to say out loud, just let the words _flow_ into Jensen’s mind the way they do into Jared’s. It’s a good motivation to try and learn, he thinks; he _knows_ that nothing born of what he feels for Jensen could ever be bad or wrong.

 

“I’ll get it booked and organised in the next couple’a days.” He says softly, forehead dropping to Jensen’s. “Wanna be able to hear you for as long as I can, if I’mma have to go without for awhile. Gotta store it all up.”

 

_I_ _’_ _m sure I can give you plenty to remember, Jay._

 

Words turning a little gruff again in Jared’s mind; twitch of his dick where it’s pressed between them, kisses turning wetter and more heated.

 

Yeah, there’re a lotta things Jared loves about his boyfriend.

 

* * * * * *

 

Jensen really didn’t mean to sound like such a needy child when he’d told Jared about the whole flying thing, but _shit_ there is _nothing_ he hates more than this.

 

They’re finally in their seats after the unending misery of the airport check-in. Jensen spent most of their time in line _seriously_ reconsidering not just driving them both to Texas, run-down state of his truck notwithstanding; noticing the way the lines around Jared’s eyes got tighter and tighter, how his big, gentle hands were gripping the handles of their luggage with more and more force. He was _kicking_ himself for not realising how the crowds in an airport - hundreds of people, all stressed in one way or another - would hurt Jared.

 

He’d stopped trying to talk directly _to_ Jared mentally after the first half-hour; knowing that his boyfriend had a hard enough time trying to block without Jensen’s thoughts slipping through the walls like water through a sieve. He’d stopped talking verbally a half-hour after that, fear of making Jared’s no-doubt pounding headache worse coupling with the guilt of not realising that it would happen in the first place.

 

He’d gotten him water, and let him squeeze his hand so tight he thought he could hear his knuckles creaking; ran his other hand up and down Jared’s back; whatever small comforts he could think of. He’d even used his power to break some inconsiderate douchebag’s cell phone when he wouldn’t stop yammering into it behind them in line, even _after_ he noticed just how much Jared was flinching. Honestly, it was all Jensen could do to just break the internal electronics of his BlackBerry, rather than make the pen in his suit pocket stab him through the chest or something.

 

They _finally_ get on board the plane, both of them stressed and a little haggard, and collapse into their seats with a grateful sigh.

 

“How you doin’ Jay?” Gentle question asked with a squeeze of Jared’s hand.

 

“Not so bad, now. Fuck I forget how _many_ of them there are, all so goddamn _noisy_.” He runs a shaky hand through his hair, and Jensen winces at the thought of what that much stray thought must be like, all shoved at you like a crowd screaming in your ears.

 

“Well try an’ get some rest huh? We’ll be thirty-thousand feet up soon; no noisy-brained people up there ‘cept me.” He smiles as reassuringly as he can, and tries to ignore the idea of being in the _air,_ in a _metal_ tube with two- _hundred_ people; including _Jared_.

 

“Oh no, you’ve looked after me this whole way, s’my turn now, Jen.” Jared’s thumb runs over the back of Jensen’s hand, and the calming effect that has on him is kinda ridiculous.

 

“It’s supposed to be calming, Jen. S’why I’m here, remember?” Tongue-in-cheek expression that makes Jensen blush at how he sometimes forgets Jared can _hear_ the running commentary in his head; even if most of the time he’s too polite to mention it.

 

“Right. I just. I didn’t mean to drag you through all that.” Sheepish, no point trying to hide it when Jared’ll hear it all anyway.

 

“You didn’t _drag_ me anywhere, numbskull. This was _my_ idea, you don‘t get to steal the credit now it‘s working.” Jensen just pulls him in and kisses him, ignores the slight stumble in the gait of the passing flight-attendant, and tries desperately not to think of four-letter words he doesn’t wanna waste the first time ’round by not saying them out loud at the right moment.

 

“Okay okay, I bow to your awesome plan-making, sensei.” He concedes, and does as much of a bow from the waist as he can with the seatbelt on, gets a full-on dimpled smile in return, another squeeze of his hand.

 

Then the plane starts moving, and Jensen reminds himself he doesn’t need to clench his toes and blank his mind and _not_ think about metal _anything_ but metal.

 

“You’re okay Jen; it’s all under your control. The metal obeys _you_ , not the other way around.” Soft words in Jared’s smooth honeyed voice, and he feels almost every muscle in his body unclench a little in response. Jared lays his head on his shoulder and puts his mouth to his ear, eyes falling shut, looking for all the world like he’s gonna drop-off as he speaks softly. “I’m here. Not gonna let anything happen, I promise.” Jensen narrows in on the words, so determined to let them sink deep into him that he almost doesn’t notice when the plane lifts off the ground and climbs into the air.

 

It’s a little over three-hours until they land in Dallas; and while it’s neither the longest or the shortest flight Jensen’s been on, it’s certainly the most _relaxed_. As they get their bags out of the overhead locker; he notes the lack of an ache in his jaw from gritting his teeth, the way his clothes _aren_ _’_ _t_ sweat-soaked and sticking to his back, no headache. Jared is giving him a soft, proud smile that makes him feel a million stories tall, like he could rearrange the stars if he could only think of a decent message to spell out with them.

 

He notes the appearance of the dimples coinciding with that thought, and yeah, okay; Jensen knows _exactly_ what it’d say.

 

Watching Jared leave for the Greyhound that’ll carry him the four hours to San Antonio is a little like someone’s tugging one of his limbs off and then walking away with it while he just stands there. The hug they share before they go their separate ways probably lasts ten full minutes; neither of them wanting to let go first. Jensen deliberately ignores whatever sappy nonsense is spilling into Jared’s head as they grip onto each other, just glad no-one else can hear it. Jared whispers about coming to see him _soon_ , so Jensen holds that thought in the forefront of his mind as he gets in the cab that’ll take him the short distance to his childhood home.

 

When he arrives, he stands outside the door for a moment, debating whether to knock or just walk in, when the decision is made for him and the door is wrenched open from inside, his dad grabbing him and roping him into a hug before he can get a word out.

 

“S’good to see you, son.” Gets whispered in his hair, and he lets his eyes fall shut as he breathes in the scent that’ll always just be _dad_ to him; like home and childhood and so many memories they all blur together. He grabs his bag and moves into the kitchen, gets the same treatment from his momma as she puts her hands either side of his face and looks him over - probably to make sure he’s been eating - and then squeezes the life out of him.

 

“You look good, considering you just spent three hours on a _plane_.” She says the word the same way he’d said it as a child; full of fear and mistrust and disapproval that she still doesn’t understand the cause of.

 

“Yeah I, uh.” He briefly considers lying about the reason, before he just gives it up. “Jared flew in with me; kept me calm on the way over.” He feels his cheeks heat at the way his momma’s eyes twinkle and his dad hides a grin in the hand he’s suddenly got wiping at the corner of his mouth. His momma’s looking over his shoulder now, like Jared’s been hiding behind him this whole time - not that _that_ _’_ _s_ possible - “He had to go straight home, but he’s gonna come over sometime while I’m here.” He knows there’s a stupid grin on his face now, can’t seem to quash it.

 

“Well good, it’ll be nice to _finally_ meet the famous _Jared_.” His momma’s really smiling at him now, and yeah okay, so he’d kinda rambled on a bit, but still.

 

“Yeah, he’s. He’s pretty great.” The sheer volume of adjectives sitting on the tip of his tongue is actually pretty embarrassing, so he just scratches at his neck and diverts the conversation to whatever’s cooking on the stove, both parents shooting him looks like they can read his mind just as well as Jared can.

 

Browsing the shelves of his old bedroom (left exactly the way it was, his momma points out, with no small amount of pride), he looks at the small metal sculptures he’d spent hours practising on; learning how to separate his emotion from what he wanted the metal to actually _do_. Curves and lines, sliver and grey and even rusted bits of scrap that he’d twisted into something parodying art with the power of his mind.

 

It’s so much _easier_ now, he notes; two fingers of his right hand extended over a four-inch-tall mound of iron as it twists and stretches like a living thing, top fanning out and separating finer and finer, base pock marking with detail until it looks like a scale model of an oak tree.

 

He remembers the games he used to play in this room; creatures made from alloy playing around him on the floor, chasing one another, melding together. He picks up an old favourite; what used to be a large steel dining fork he’d contorted into the shape of a bird, refined over months of his seventeenth year as he’d learned more and more control; remembers the first time he’d got it to fly around his head in a wobbly circle, like a cartoon. He sets it down next to his phone and vows to give it to Jared the next time he sees him.

 

He gets a set of four large ball-bearings going in a wireless Newton’s cradle over the dresser as he lies back on the bed and sends a message to Jared:

 

**_JA:_ ** _In old room, perfectly preserved like museum. Found a present 4 u. x_

 

The immediacy of the reply makes him grin:

 

**_JP:_ ** _Present huh? Fossil? Dinosaur bones? Woolly mammoth? xx_

 

He snorts a laugh as his fingers dance over the keys.

 

**_JA:_** _Bb how old do u think I am?! It_ _’_ _s a surprise, will have 2 come visit 2 get it =P xx_

 

**_JP:_** _Can_ _’_ _t wait. Parents happy to see me, worried thoughts at first but they say (and think) I look happy. Was *this* close to bragging about you. xx_

 

No way can he prevent the pleased flush at that.

 

**_JA:_** _M+D gave me sappy-eyes when I started mooning over you earlier. Probably won_ _’_ _t stop asking me about you_ _‘_ _till you visit, so y_ _’_ _know, better be soon ;) xx_

 

**_JP:_** _Well wouldn_ _’_ _t wanna upset the Ackles_ _’_ _huh? Probs be a week or so_ _‘_ _till they let me escape, I haven_ _’_ _t been home since I started college so *shrugs* Miss you, too quiet without ur pervert brain! xx_

 

He laughs, then hears his dad calling him down to dinner, quickly fires off a last reply.

 

**_JA:_ ** _Miss u 2! Dinner served gotta run! Speak/see u soon xxx_

He sets the makeshift Newton’s cradle gently down on the dresser with a thought, and heads downstairs; completely unwilling to wipe the grin off his face.

 

* * * * * *

 

Jared misses the sense of connection to Jensen almost immediately. He wasn’t kidding, its _way_ too quiet in his head now. He can shut his parents out without too-much effort, but even letting them in doesn’t make him feel the way Jensen’s thoughts do; like there’s a hand on his shoulder or the small of his back; this gentle comforting presence inside his mind, surprisingly soothing even with the R-rated turn his thoughts usually take.

 

His parents have been giving him suspicious glances ever since he walked in; surprised by how openly, outwardly _happy_ he is. It took all of five minutes for his dad’s thoughts to wander to _’_ _maybe he_ _’_ _s got himself a girl_ _’_ and his mom wasn’t far behind him. He’s _dying_ to tell them; to explain about who Jensen is and how much Jared likes him, but there’s so much else that he could let slip if he does. So many facets of their relationship are based on this inexplicable _thing_ they share between them, this thing Jared would have no idea how to explain. He seriously doubts he’d be able to tell them the half-truths about how they met or why they’ve grown so close, so fast, without giving the whole thing away.

 

So instead he ends up talking about his classes, about the campus and what he does with his free time, and the few other people he’s met that he actually _talks_ to. His parents listen intently, all the while thinking about whatever it is he might be hiding.

 

Not like it’s the first time.

 

On the fourth day he’s home, he mentions - trying to sound casual and only stuttering twice as much for the effort - that he’s got a ‘friend from college’ who lives in Dallas he’d like to go see for a couple’a days. The intense, calculating look he gets when he finally stammers out Jensen’s name makes him feel about an inch tall; and the blush he can already feel burning on his cheeks gets ten-times hotter when his mom says; “So, this Jensen, is a…a close friend?”

 

“Uh. Yeah. He. He’s my best friend, really.” He _hates_ how quiet his voice is, how his eyes are firmly locked on the floor. He’s probably not hiding a damned thing, and seriously he’s the worst person _ever_ to be given a secret superpower.

 

_He. Well, that answers that._

Okay, so he’s _definitely_ not hiding a damned thing.

 

“You can go. But I want you back at least the day before Christmas Eve.” Mom-Stare on full power - there’s a _real_ superpower, right there.

 

He agrees immediately; and gets out of the room as fast as he can without looking like he’s actually _running_ , and goes to his room to call Jensen.

 

_“_ _Hey, Jay._ _”_ The smile he can hear in his boyfriend’s voice makes him feel even warmer than the residual blush on his face.

 

“Hey. I asked my folks and I can come out to stay with you, as long as I’m back a couple’a days before Christmas.” He can feel the grin, knows Jensen can probably _hear_ it.

 

_“_ _Awesome, I told mom and dad you might be coming. Think they_ _’_ _re more excited to meet you than they were to see me._ _”_ False hurt in his tone not hiding the sound of the smile he’s wearing.

 

“Hmm. Well, you do get kinda tiring, after a while.” Trying not to laugh.

 

_“_ _Oh, ouch babe. Now I_ _’_ _m gonna hafta hang-up so I can go cry._ _”_ That time he _does_ laugh.

 

“Aww, poor baby. Want me to kiss it better?” Teasing lilt, knows the words were a mistake soon as he hears the drop in the pitch of Jensen’s chuckle.

 

_“_ _Mmm, well I got somethin_ _’_ _you could kiss_ _…”_ He trails off, and Jared’s breath catches, Jensen‘s voice close in his ear _almost_ as good as it being in his head.

 

“Y-Yeah? What?” Crack in his words as he tries not to sound pathetically excited already.

 

_“_ _Well, was thinkin_ _’_ _you could start with that spot on my neck_ _…”_ God, Jared _loves_ that spot; mainly for the noise Jensen makes when he scrapes his teeth over it.

 

“Yeah. I-I really like that spot.” Wow that didn’t even sound like _his_ voice. Gruff laugh in Jensen’s voice says he doesn’t mind.

 

_“_ _Know you do, Jay. First time in over a month the bruise has faded._ _”_ Okay, so Jared _really_ loves that spot; not like Jensen doesn’t leave his share of marks on Jared.

 

_“_ _Wanna kiss you Jay. Miss the way you taste. The way you moan when I tell you what I_ _’_ _mma do to you; just_ think _it at you and feel you shudder._ _”_ It’s so much like the words are in his head, and he presses the phone tighter to his ear, like he can push the words in.

 

_“_ _You gonna touch yourself for me, Jay? Gonna wrap your big hand around your fat cock and think o_ _‘_ _me?_ _”_ Even as he says it he’s gotta know the answer.

 

“Y-Yeah, Jen. I’m gonna.” Kinda glad Jensen can’t see him as he stands in the middle of the room, phone pressed to one hear as he tugs his belt open with his free hand.

 

_“_ _Wanna hear it Jay; lemme listen to you jerk yourself off, all those sweet little noises you make._ _”_ If you can call squeaking like Jared just did sweet then yeah, sure.

 

“God, _Jen._ ” Finally collapsing onto the bed, jeans open and hand shoved into them, grip tight around his dick.

 

_“_ _That_ _’_ _s it baby. God wish I could see you; skin all flushed pink and hair everywhere, big hard dick leaking for me._ _”_ He can hear the rustle that’s probably Jensen taking off his clothes.

 

“T-Tell me. Wanna know what you’d d-do.” Stuttering either in embarrassment or sheer arousal, slow stroke and _twist_ of his hand inside his jeans.

 

_“_ _I_ _’_ _d run my hands down your chest, pinch at your nipples the way I know you like. Get my mouth on that perfect dip between your stomach muscles, mark you up._ _”_ He can _hear_ Jensen touching himself as he talks, and _fuck_ Jared is not gonna last.

 

“Yeah, I. I love your _mouth_ , Jen.” Hand twisting on the upstroke, grip tightening. Dirty-filthy chuckle in his ear.

 

_“_ _Yeah I know you do. Want my lips around your cock, Jay? Want me to suck you?_ _”_ Fuck just the _image_ of that is almost enough.

 

_“_ _Know what I really wanna do, Jay? What I think about when I_ _’_ _m jerking myself off like I am right now?_ _”_ God Jared _really_ wants to know, but his throat won’t work.

 

_“_ _Wanna get my fingers in you, Jay. Slick you up and just watch you squirming on my hand. Get all up in that tight, perfect ass,_ fuck _Jay!_ _”_ Sounds of Jensen panting as he comes, thoughts of Jensen’s fingers being _inside_ him pushing him over the edge; hot-wet pulses into his jeans and over his fingers, brain flaring offline and breath punching out of his chest.

 

“Christ Jen. Tryin’a kill me?” Still breathing hard, he actually has to find the phone where his grip on it had gone slack during his orgasm. He catches the tail-end of Jensen’s laugh.

 

_“_ _Not just you babe, trust me._ _”_ He takes a deep breath. _“_ _So that wasn_ _’_ _t. I didn_ _’_ _t push too far?_ _”_ Jared blushes again, but he’s sporting a huge, dopey grin.

 

“Nah, was fuckin’ hot, Jen. Gonna hafta try that in person when I come’n see you.” He knows his voice is like molasses, accent thicker with the buzz running through him.

 

_“_ _God Jay, now who_ _’_ _s trying to kill who, huh? You_ _’_ _d really let me?_ _”_ Jared feels his dick twitch in the wet mess of jeans at the thought. Seems he would.

 

“ _Yeah_ , Jen. Might not be ready for. You know. All the way. But we can start slow right?” If they keep talking about this he’s gonna need to jerk off again.

 

_“_ _Slow as you want, I promise. You know you_ _’_ _re amazing right?_ _‘_ _Cos seriously, you_ _’_ _re amazing._ _”_ Smile in his boyfriend’s voice again.

 

“It’s something I try and live with, it’s a daily struggle, honestly.” Grin widening at the sound of Jensen’s laugh.

 

_“_ _And your modesty is so attractive, babe._ _”_ Gets a laugh out of him.

 

“Please, if I was any more modest I’d be, like, a Geisha or something.” From the way Jensen groans a little, he maybe likes that image more than Jared thought he would.

 

_“_ _Oh fuck, now I_ _’_ _m picturing you all meek and dressed up for me. No fair Jay I can_ _’_ _t spend all day in here jerking off._ _”_ Jared just laughs.

 

“S’cos of your perverted brain, don’t go blamin’ me.” Jensen gives another throaty laugh at that.

 

_“_ _So, when can I tell mom and dad to expect you? Y_ _’_ _know, just so they don_ _’_ _t worry or anything._ _”_ Teasing words, and Jared hears the real meaning anyway.

 

“I’ll leave the day after tomorrow, that’ll give us four days together before I’ll have to head back.” He’s smiling at the thought already.

 

_“_ _Awesome. I_ _’_ _ll spend the extra day tryin_ _’_ _a convince my parents to let us sleep in the same room._ _”_ And with what is unmistakeably a kiss blown down the line, his boyfriend hangs up; and Jared is left lying sated but sticky on his childhood bed.

It’s not exactly a new experience, he admits.

 

* * * * * *

 

The grin on Jensen’s face could possibly be described as ridiculous. He’s really finding it hard to care at the moment.

 

Jared is almost here.

 

He’s probably said that to his momma twenty times since Jared called him from his bus two hours ago. He’d been so wound up and distracted that morning, that he hadn’t even _noticed_ the way every metal object in the bathroom was floating in the air; until he’d reached for his toothbrush and found the steel cup sitting almost on top of the mirror. He hasn’t accidentally lost control like that in years.

 

Stupid gorgeous Jared.

 

Despite his hours of pleading; his parents have refused to let him and Jared sleep in the same room, even after Jensen - perhaps unwisely, judging from the way his dad’s face had scrunched up and his momma had turned an odd pinkish colour - pointed out they’ve spent days staying in the same dorm room with only a tiny college-issue bed, before.

 

Yeah, probably shouldn’t have mentioned that before they’ve even _met_ Jared. He’ll have to remember to send apologetic thoughts through the front door before they let him in.

 

His phone chirps at him while he’s standing in the middle of his bedroom; a long trail of paper clips spiralling around him in a big helix as he tries to get rid of his nervous energy.

 

**_JP:_** _I_ _’_ _m here! Come kiss me! Xx_

He’s pretty sure he can’t fly, but it feels like he does from the way he moves down the stairs and out the door as Jared is coming into view. They pretty much collide in the middle of the front yard; arms going ‘round each other, Jared actually lifting Jensen off the ground and twirling him a little, laughing at the way Jensen squawks in surprised protest. He tries to keep the making out to a minimum while he’s standing in his parents yard, with them no doubt hanging back near the house watching this whole sappy display. Doesn’t stop him projecting who-knows-what at Jared in excitement though, gets him a laugh right into his mouth.

 

“Miss me?” Jared whispers as they break the kiss, still clutching to each other.

 

_Like you wouldn_ _’_ _t believe._

 

“Maybe a little” Said mostly for his parent’s benefit, knows Jared doesn’t need the words.

 

Still grinning like a moron, arm around Jared’s waist as he tries to match his giant strides, Jensen leads them both to where his folks are watching them with an indulgent, fond smile.

 

“Mom, Dad, this is Jared. Jared meet my Mom; Donna and Alan; my Dad.” He does the formal thing, overplaying it with extravagant bowing and arm-waving to make Jared smile and break the tension a little.

 

“N-Nice to meet you sir, ma’am.” Jensen is _stupidly_ proud at the single, tiny stutter (which probably just makes him all the more endearing, from the way his momma’s face softens that little bit extra), and the strong way he shakes his Dad‘s hand. The big dimpled smile doesn’t hurt.

 

“Oh please, it’s Donna and Alan, and it’s lovely to finally meet _you_ , Jared.” Jensen is trying to suppress a laugh at the way his momma is visibly stopping herself from hugging Jared like the big adorable puppy he is. The subtle knock against his back tells him Jared heard that.

 

“Well, no sense in us standing out here, let’s all go inside shall we?” His parents lead the way into the house, and Jensen takes a moment to kiss Jared again, squeeze his waist reassuringly.

 

_They love you already, babe, don_ _’_ _t worry._

They sit around in the comfy living room and drink coffee, the ideal meet-the-parents cliché, as his parents fail at subtlety while they quiz Jared about his classes and his family and everything else they can think of. Jensen sits as close to Jared as he can without _actually_ being _in_ his lap, and sends him any thoughts or questions he thinks will help the process along. Eventually Jared cracks a huge yawn and then blushes and tries to apologise; while his momma just waves them off to show Jared where to put his bag in the spare room he’ll be sleeping in (his dad kinda stresses that last part, and Jared blushes even brighter while Jensen rolls his eyes and drags Jared off by the hand).

 

Upstairs, and blissfully alone, Jensen takes Jared’s bag from his hand, dumps it on the floor and tackles Jared down onto the guest bed. He’s kissing the breath outta Jared before they’ve stopped bouncing on the mattress, moaning at the sweet taste he didn’t think he could miss so much after less than a week apart.

 

_Missed you. God, Jay._

He can’t even form coherent filthiness to aim at Jared now, just grinds his hips into Jared’s on the bed as he kisses and licks and nips across his lips and down his neck, hand pushing up under his shirt, caressing the skin and scraping just right with his nails to make Jared shiver.

 

“Fuck. Jen, we-we _can_ _’_ _t_.” He’s saying it even as he’s helplessly pushing his hips up into Jensen’s, hard cocks grinding against one another. It builds fast and ruthlessly hard, like a forest fire springing out of nowhere and pooling behind his balls, incredible pressure.

 

_Gonna make you come all over yourself, Jay. Get you wet; make you feel it._

Shoving down as Jared pushes up, orgasm suddenly hitting him like a punch to the gut, feels Jared shivering through his own aftershocks and the wetness spreading between them. Foreheads pressed together, breath coming in hard fast pants that make the hair move back and forth over Jared’s forehead.

 

“M’gonna hafta wash my shorts out now, jerk.” No strength in the words at all as Jared thwaps him on the shoulder, all the coordination of a puppet that’s had it’s strings cut.

 

_I_ _’_ _ll make it up to you._

Thought soft and loaded with innuendo as he kisses Jared again, licks over his bottom lip and nips at his jaw.

 

“They’re gonna know what we were doing, y’know.” Jared says when they separate; blush coming back again. Jensen huffs a laugh as he looks down at his boyfriend underneath him; flushed and sexy and all _his_. Loves the way the possessive thought makes the blush get hotter and brighter as it runs down past the collar of Jared’s shirt.

 

“I’m sure it’s not a foreign concept, Jay. They met when they were in high school.” Jared just gives him an unimpressed look, but he leans up and presses a quick kiss to Jensen’s lips anyway.

 

“So. I believe you said something about a present?” Teasing glint in his eyes as his hand runs down Jensen’s back, only stalling a little before sliding over his ass and then sweeping back up.

 

“Oh, I see, ain’t about me at all is it, ya big gold digger.” Nip to the line of Jared’s throat, tries to keep in mind his mommas face if Jared goes downstairs covered in hickeys. Then tries to remember why he cares.

 

“Like I’d ride four hours on a musty Greyhound, next to a lady who smelled like shoes, just to see your ugly mug.” That cracks Jensen up a little; laughter making him shake as he presses his face into Jared’s neck, breathes him in before he lifts his head, heart stuttering at the smile and deep blue-green eyes aimed at him.

 

“Way to make a man wanna give you gifts, there, Jay. Flattery really is an art to you isn’t it?” Pressing soft kisses up to Jared’s ear, can‘t help himself.

 

“Well if you’ve changed your mind, I can always find another guy to buy me stuff. I’m sure there’s a handsome rich dude somewhere that’d want a piece of-”

 

That’s as far as gets before Jensen grabs his wrists and pins him to the mattress, crushes their mouths together.

 

_Fuckin_ _’_ mine _, Jay_. _No one else touches you. No one else gets to have you._

Thoughts harshly uttered into Jared’s mind, making his boyfriend groan as they lie pressed together from toes to chest.

 

“Fuck, _Jen_. M’yours, promise.” Soft whimpers as Jensen sucks a hickey right in the middle of his neck, above his Adam’s apple; wants Jared to _feel_ it whenever his throat works as he swallows.

 

_Make me so crazy Jared. Wanna touch you, mark you,_ take _you._

Tries to push an image into Jared’s head; - something they’ve practiced at but haven’t quite gotten the knack of yet - Jared spread out on a blurry, half-imagined bed, sweating and panting as Jensen works his fingers into him. Same image he’d used when he’d been on the phone with Jared a few days ago; hazy and sexy and indistinct, Jared the only thing in sharp focus as he writhes in pleasure. Like the rest of the world fades around him.

 

There’s a metaphor there, somewhere, Jensen thinks.

 

* * * * * *

 

Jared has never felt as safe anywhere as he does when Jensen is laying over him, broad, strong body sheltering him with warm skin and muscle where Jared is still kinda gangly and not filled-out yet. He feels like the physical version of the mental barriers Jared has always struggled to create; immovable and enduring without ever being stifling.

 

The crack about him getting a sugar-daddy is probably unwise; given how possessive Jensen typically is, but _fuck_ it’s worth it when he gets held to the bed and a hickey planted in the middle of his neck. He can _feel_ Jensen trying to send pictures to him, and he gets a weirdly translucent image that resolves slightly into one of him; looking way more glow-y and attractive than he’s ever really seen _himself_ , faint colours and no sound as Jensen spreads him open with his fingers. He can’t get details, but _Christ_ that image is hotter than ninety-nine percent of whatever he’s ever imagined on his own, anyway.

 

He tries to clear his head and catch his breath - not easy with Jensen flushed and a little sweaty as he looms over him; hair spiked a little crazily where Jared’s hands had wandered into it, eye so, _so_ green as they stare at Jared like nothing else matters. He can hear the swirling mass of Jensen’s thoughts, like the oddly cosy sound of rain when you’re warm and indoors; can’t make out words, but the message is clear, regardless.

 

“You gonna show me around now, caveman?” He asks softly, tip of his nose nudging along Jensen’s, gets him another kiss and a low, rough laugh that makes him shiver.

 

“Gotta be a good host I suppose.” He sighs likes it’s such a chore, but there’s a big happy smile on his face as he helps Jared up and ushers them into the bathroom.

 

“I think the orgasm pretty much earns you that title, all by itself.” Jared returns as they jostle one another by the sink, cleaning up and straightening hair and clothes as much as possible. Jared examines the bruise on his neck, and he can feel the slight ache when his throat bobs as he swallows - which is _exactly_ why Jensen put it there, he knows - and sees the hot flash in Jensen’s eyes as he sees Jared poking at it, the slight smirk he doesn’t even bother trying to hide.

 

Jensen leads him down the hall into what Jared immediately knows is his old bedroom, and his eyes struggle to take in everything at once; light green carpet - scattered with paper clips, which brings a smile to his face - sports posters on the walls, baseball trophies and almost as many books as Jared has in his room; some on engineering, some fiction, some old books that look as though they were used for school. What Jared is fascinated, and a little surprised by - even though he shouldn’t be, thinking about it now - is the number of random metal objects everywhere; like tiny bits of street art scattered all over the room.

 

There are dozens of them; on the shelves and on the old wooden desk, the bedside table; and Jared can just _see_ Jensen shut away in this room as a child, much the way Jared had always been; trying to control something so bizarre and unexpected that no one else had to deal with.

 

_What do you think?_

Soft words across the surface of his mind, like a caress.

 

“I love it.” He says, honestly. Eyes still skipping over random knick-knacks and folded laundry, until they land on the gorgeous guy standing by the bed, so strong and so fragile, and utterly, utterly perfect

 

Jensen steps closer to him, stops a couple of feet away, and holds out the palm of his left hand. An ornate, silvery bird floats into the air and hovers between them. As Jared watches, transfixed; it circles around him gracefully before he reaches out a curious hand, as though it were a timid, living thing rather than inanimate and made of metal. It lands gently in his palm, the weight of it suddenly present as Jensen lets go of the mental grip keeping it afloat.

 

Jared gasps softly as he lifts it closer and turns it over in his hands. The edges of it are perfectly smooth and clean; clearly not carved or honed by any kind of conventional tool. It looks like a blackbird, or maybe a crow; and there are faint gaps between the wing feathers where they’re spread slightly apart; as though it were halfway through taking flight. The eyes are incredibly sharp and detailed, so are the feet and long tail feathers. It’s absolutely beautiful.

 

“It’s beautiful.” He says, aloud for Jensen, thumb stroking over the small bird’s head. “How long did this take you?” Eyes moving up to his boyfriend’s, noting the pleased, bashful smile on Jensen’s face and the blush tinting his cheeks pink.

 

“About a year, from start to finish. I started it when I was seventeen. I used to practice on random stuff first, and then try’n improve the detail on the bird afterwards. It’s supposed to be a blackbird; we used to get these huge ones on the trees outside the classroom windows at school, and I’d always stare at them whenever I was bored.” Jared smiles and imagines Jensen as a freckled little boy, bird-watching and daydreaming.

 

“It’s amazing. _You_ _’_ _re_ amazing.” He sees Jensen open his mouth to deny it, way he always does. “Seriously Jen, you could’ve been an artist or a sculptor, rather than an engineer.” Jensen’s really blushing now, and Jared steps closer and plants a kiss on his warm cheek, just ‘cos he can.

 

“I thought about it, but making buildings and bridges n’stuff is its own kinda art, y’know? There’s something about the idea of watching metal and glass that _you_ imagined reaching up so high into the sky it looks like it’s gonna go right through the clouds that’s just…” He trails off and shrugs, and Jared smiles and kisses him again, on the mouth; always amazed at the passion that shines from Jensen when he talks like this, the way his thoughts take on this lightening-quick, ephemeral quality; like electricity arcing from point to point, or water in a fast-running stream.

 

“I dunno if I can accept this Jen; it’s too much. You spent a whole year making this.” He’s looking at the bird again now; marvelling at the way each feather running from its back to its tail is distinct and outlined, faint lines of detail on each one, like they could part and ruffle any minute when it decides to move.

 

“It’s yours Jay, seriously. I‘m. You’re the only one who.” His voice cracks a little, and in one giant step he’s kissing Jared again, plush lips brushing over his, sweet and soft and yet intensely focused, and Jared‘s knees go a little weak.

 

_It_ _’_ _s yours. I won_ _’_ _t take no for an answer._

Jared laughs a bit into Jensen’s mouth; resignation and something so much _greater_ that he feels for this guy; something that even that big four-letter-word doesn’t really capture. He pockets the solid weight of the sculpted animal, gives Jensen a yielding look and another grateful smile.

 

They spend dinner joking and laughing, as Jensen’s parents tell Jared as many embarrassing stories as they can think of about Jensen’s childhood; director’s commentary running in Jared’s head as Jensen tries to mentally contradict them. Jensen’s mom gives him a raised eyebrow when she spots the bruise on Jared’s neck, and Jensen goes beet-red in some kind of instinctual response, but looks her head-on and raises an eyebrow in return, making his dad snort out a laugh. Warmth spreads through Jared at the non-verbal family communication; at the feeling of acceptance on more levels at once than he’s ever felt before.

 

If anyone asks, the smile is just ‘cos the food’s so good.

 

* * * * * *

 

The second day of Jared’s visit, Jensen takes him to all the places he used to hang around at as a kid, everything so much the same but still looking smaller, less vibrant, somehow.

 

He shows Jared the park he’d played in after school; complete with dented monkey-bars where he’d unintentionally pulled them toward his hands as he’d tried to clamber across. They go to the old movie house Jensen and his friends used to sneak into, and make out in the back row to some cheesy horror flick from the seventies. They walk past the school, and Jensen tells him - with words, and then with thoughts when the words won’t come - how many recesses he’d spent indoors, watching the birds through the classroom window ‘cos he was afraid of making something happen that would scare or hurt someone; would make people think he was a freak. Jared tells him about the number of times he’d faked being sick so he wouldn’t have to go to school at all; the thought of walking around hundreds of noisy kids with even _noisier_ brains too horrible and frightening.

 

They eat lunch on a bench next to a rusty old fountain, and Jensen makes the towering concentric circles spin and tilt a little, spraying the kids that’re playing near the base, haggard-looking parents none the wiser.

 

Jensen is trying not to draw attention to them by laughing too loud, when Jared goes stiff as a board and his head shoots up and starts darting from side-to-side, like he’s heard a gunshot.

 

“What? Jay, what is it?” Hand on Jared’s thigh squeezing slightly.

 

“I. I thought. I could’ve sworn I heard a voice.” From anyone else that’d probably be really worrying, Jensen thinks.

 

“Oh shut up, you know what I meant.” Jared clearly still hearing _him_ then.

 

“No, that’s exactly what it was like, Jen! Like that day in Starbucks, it was just _there_ ; like it went right through the walls.” Jared’s turned to him, eyes a little wide.

 

“You’re _sure_ it wasn’t just me?” He’s getting a little nervous himself, the way Jared is looking right now.

 

“I _know_ what _you_ sound like, Jen. It wasn’t you, but it cut through the same way you do.” Jared’s back to scanning the people nearby now, eyes narrowed and eerily-focused in that way that says he’s dropping and raising his mental barriers; looking for something specific.

 

“It’s gone.” Blinking hard to clear his vision, shaking his head a little. “But I _know_ I heard it. It was a guys voice, and it was just _there_ , like I couldn‘t block it.” Jensen is trying to control the sudden fear in his chest at that, only one reason they know of Jared wouldn’t be able to keep out a voice like that.

 

“What did it say?” Trepidation in the words, rush of ‘what ifs’ in his head.

 

“It said; ‘so there’s two of them.’” Jared’s voice more than a little freaked-out as he turns back to him, wide eyes on his, and Jensen feels a chill go through him. They can’t stay here, just sitting around in the open, if someone _is_ watching, then…

 

“C’mon, lets get outta here.” He pulls Jared to his feet, keeps him close as they head back to the house. He locks the door behind them, completely ignores the greeting and questioning look from his parents, and drags Jared to his room and shuts them in.

 

Jensen spends the rest of the night twitchy as fuck; glancing out the curtains and randomly resting his hand on Jared’s shoulder, his leg, the back of neck; as though he’s trying to make sure he’s still there, that he‘s still solid and real. He knows it’s stupid, and his momma has been giving him funny looks all evening, but he can’t make himself stop.

 

If Jared _did_ hear that voice, and Jensen has no reason to doubt him, then that means…Well he isn’t even sure _what_ it means, other than maybe they _aren_ _’_ _t_ the only ones who can do freaky stuff other people can’t. And that they’re apparently being _watched_.

 

He doesn’t wanna think about why someone might be spying on them, or what it means if the people spying on them are _like_ them. He’s stamping ruthlessly on paranoid thoughts of government labs and secret underground facilities, doesn’t want Jared being worried by his overactive imagination.

 

“Jen, I swear to God, if you don’t sit down, I will tackle you to the ground.” Jared’s voice from where he’s sitting on Jensen’s bed as Jensen wears a hole in the floor. He sighs, probably more explosively and childish than necessary; and plants himself on the mattress next to Jared, pressing his left leg to Jared’s right, comfort in that small point of contact.

 

“I just.” Another sigh, hand running into his hair and back down across his face; like he’s trying to wipe the thoughts off. “What if-” He doesn’t even _know_ _‘_ what if’, but the number of bad possibilities here is pretty staggering. One of Jared’s big, warm hands clamps onto Jensen’s thigh, squeezes reassuringly.

 

“Don’t drive yourself crazy, okay? Maybe I imagined it, or maybe it was a stray thought about someone else. It could’ve even been someone talking out loud and I just didn’t realise.” He’s well aware Jared’s bullshitting to calm him down, but he appreciates the effort.

 

“I can’t stop thinking about it, Jay; about what could happen if someone found out. The _wrong_ someone, you know?” Of course Jared knows; he doesn’t need to tell him what he’s thinking.

 

“How could they? It’s not like we wear bright spandex, or masks, or special badges, right? No one can tell just by _looking_.” Jared in full teacher-mode, voice of reason.

 

“I was playing with that stupid fountain when you heard the voice, though. What if _I_ -”

 

“No, Jen. Stop beating yourself up, okay? Nothing happened. We’re here, and we’re safe, and we’re together. Everything‘s okay.” Voice softening, Jared runs a hand up his back to the base of his skull, runs his thumb into the dent there, and Jensen can feel his headache fading a little with Jared so close and warm and comforting.

 

He lets his head drop forward, chin on his chest; and tries to take some deep breaths. Jared’s hand runs around his neck and under his chin, tilts his face up so he can plant a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth.

 

“Everything’s okay.” He whispers this time, almost right against Jensen’s lips.

 

_I can_ _’_ _t lose you._

The kind of thing he’s no good at saying out loud, even the thought is a painful whisper that feels like it‘s torn from him.

 

“You won’t.” Just as soft-spoken, and his eyes fall shut as Jared kisses him again, lips parting and tongue sliding along Jensen’s. He groans as the almost-sweet and indefinable taste of _Jared_ fills his mouth; warms him from head to toe. Need for air eventually forcing them apart, Jensen presses his forehead to Jared’s, warm breath flowing between them as they both pant a little. He lets his eyes close as he puts one hand on the side of Jared’s neck; keeps them connected like he can get the thoughts to flow across easier that way.

 

_I_ _’_ _m scared, Jay._

 

Jared makes a small noise in his throat, presses his lips to Jensen’s again, reassurance for the both of them.

 

“I know. Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Hamlet.


End file.
